Making Things Complicated – Dave’s Words

Dear Dave:

Since you won’t communicate with your wife, three children, or your brothers, sisters, or anyone who loves you, or anyone who knows you like we do, anyone with authority in your life, it looks like the only way we can have a discussion with what’s in your head is with your blog postings.

Currently, that article “Don’t Make Things Complicated” is on your home page… that article is over 3 weeks old… you have removed your posts afterwards that contradict who you are… you are not the “Success” you proclaim to be because you are a failure to your family. You have left them with no emotional security, no financial security, and no future security. Is this the “Successful” Dave Navarro your 7,742 twitter fans know and love? @RockYourDay has been dark for the last 10 days as well. Where are you, brother?

Because of the textual nature of these posts, I cannot include emotion here, so I want you to know my tone. I don’t want you to read your emotional turmoil into the words I have to say. I am your older brother. I need to tell you the truth. I need to do this with love, but with strength. What you are doing is morally wrong, and I need to be firm with you – but I am not raising my voice and I am not lashing out in anger. I have been an authority figure to you all of your life and I have tried to set an example for you to follow. So listen to my words as someone who knows, loves, and wants to protect you. These words are to be read with strength, passion, and a gentle firmness.

I need to walk through your Oct 25 blog post:

Think of a difficult decision you’ve been putting off for a long, long time. Something that’s really hard to have to deal with, and so you’ve been putting it off forever.

Brother, have you been thinking of leaving your family, of orphaning your children for a long time? Why have you not sought out the counsel of friends, family, your church, or other successful people for advice? Don’t you teach modeling? – Looking at successful people and see what they have done and try to do the same thing? We can still fix what you have broken.

So the decision was simple (but hard): Work my ass off to build a business that would give me freedom.

Freedom from your family, brother? Freedom from the responsibilities that fatherhood and husbandry demand? You promised your family that working late nights and weekends on your business will give you the freedom to spend more time with the family and be the father your kids deserve. That’s what being a man entails, Dave, and any man worth his ManCard will tell you that. You can’t @RockYourDay by covering your past with dirt.

What would my friends think? Would I still have friends?

What would my relatives think? Would they give me constant flack?

Your friends are worried to death for you, Dave. Your relatives are worried sick. You have committed one of society’s and one of man’s greatest wrongs – abdicating your responsibilities as Father and husband; as provider and shield; as guardian and light to your family.

Will we give you constant flack? Telling you the truth in love, telling you to turn from error, telling you to walk your talk, man up, and do the job you were not only called to do, but what you swore an oath to do. Is that giving you flack or is that trying to turn someone from a path that only leads off a cliff… a cliff that when you go over, the rope around your ankle will pull those you love down after you to destruction.

If you come home, will there be a shadow over your head? Will there be an air of distrust? no… we will welcome you home with open arms and begin to heal the wounds in your family that you have created.

You get to live this life exactly one time, and you don’t want to look back 10 years from now wishin you had the stones to make the tough call.

Does Dave Navarro have “the stones?” This had to have been a tough call, brother. Quite a pair of stones, indeed. One does not destroy the lives of four human beings who are 100% dependent on him lightly. Instead of looking back 10 years, why not look ahead: look at the 16 year old son, the 18 year old son, the 25 year old son, who had to grow 10 years without a father. Who had to have their uncle give them driving lessons. Whose uncle was there for their athletic events. For the forty birthdays and ten anniversaries you have missed out on. For the ten birthdays you celebrated alone or with strangers.  For the fatherly advice on taking a girl out on a date, or to the prom, or to fill out college applications for.

Because of your decision, will your children even go to college? Will they even graduate high school, or will they be quitters, like their dad?

Ten years. It’s tough to be a dad. It’s tough to be a loving husband. Don’t wait ten years from now “wishin you had the stones to make the tough call.” Quit your doubletalk and walk your talk – no excuses… man up… have some stones. Show that the man behind @RockYourDay is made of solid rock, and not someone who blown away like sand whichever way the wind will take him.

-Your Elder Brother, Anthony

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